First of all, sorry if the font change is disturbing.  I wanted to try something new.  

This is a post dedicated to "finding my voice".  You see, whenever I think about updating my blog, immediately an anxiety begins to take over me.  Obviously there is some amount of pressure.  Last I checked, I have 18 followers.  Dear Lord.  That's a lot of pressure.  You guys expect something out of me.  You trust me to deliver, or else you wouldn't have made this public declaration of loyalty, this pronounced commitment.  I want to reward that.  I want to give the people what they want.  The trouble is my audience is quite diverse, isn't it?  There is this really complex gradient of people all here, reading for completely different reasons, more or less expecting different things.  I mean how do I cater to my mom, Mr. Colon, Zubair, and Chris Lewis at the same time? (sorry if I didn't give you a shout-out.  I'll try and get you in later).  The afternoon PBS answers is - you can't and you shouldn't have to.  After all you people are here to hear me right?  And that shouldn't have to change on a person to person basis.  This should be a defiant stand of individuality.  Yea it should, but it doesn't feel that way.  It's really a combination of not really knowing what you all expect and not quite knowing what I want to write.  All the other interns post breathtaking pictures and give succinct recaps of adventures they have had, usually limiting it to the light and cultural remarks.  I can't get too excited about constantly retelling events.  Plus, I didn't even bring a camera.  

The truth is, as romantic as it may seem to run away to the Himalayan mountains of India and work for an NGO that strives to serve the poor of India as best it can - it isn't.  It's just life over here.  Sure there are nice cultural quirks like the post man stomping around, demanding a 50 rupee tip or the two stray cats we've inevitably adopted (maybe those are the stories you want to hear about?), but in the end, it's the same.  People here laugh the same way, yell the same way, cry the same way.  People here are just as selfish, just as shameful, just as interesting.  It's just a little different.  There are lots of things that get in the way, make you think that maybe it's not the same, but in fact it is strikingly similar to everything you've grown up with.  Granted, my view is a little biased since I do work with many westerners, but my exposure to the "true" India and "true" Indians is extensive enough for me not to be mystified by it.  

So then if the foundation is the same, what is there to talk about? Plenty.  That's the fascinating thing about life.  No matter how terrible or blissful a day can be, there is something to take away from it.  That is what I want to share with all of you.  I want to share with you my lessons on life.  Sometimes it will involve a rousing Indian adventure, but sometimes it may just involve doing laundry and going grocery shopping.  If that's what you want to hear - musings from a person just trying to understand life (albeit across the ocean) - then you're in the right place.  If you think that sounds boring and a little confusing, then you're probably thinking what I'm thinking right now.  No no.  It'll be fun.  Maybe we can both learn something through this.  

....I always feel like I've written more than I actually have.


Oh ALSO - I'll be in Chicago from (approx.) Dec 18th to Jan 12th.  My visa demands I leave the country, so why not come home to some of the best people in the world for a while?

What I learned today....

After a lengthy argument, I learned today that "salad" is a word that classifies not substance but form.

PICTURES

Sickness has passed.  Wedding was a wedding.  Back in Mussourie, back to "regular" life.  I read "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy on the train and it was fantastic, one of the best pieces of fiction I've read in a while.  It's truly depressing and arresting in an uplifting way.  

Anyways, here are some pictures, since I've had so few.  They are all courtesy of my official photographer, Susan Kizzee.  There are pictures of the office (outside/inside), us at dinner, a group picture during a staff's going away party, a picture of us interns all together, and a picture of us during an weekend intern trip at Rishikesh.  Enjoy.

What to do?

For one reason or another "What to do?" seems to be a pretty popular phrase around the eMi office.  It seems to be the one phrase that is only appropriate reaction to the unpredictability of living and working in non-profit India.  The electricity is out for hours - "What to do?".  A water pipe broke outside and then broke again after being fixed - "What to do?".  You traveled down south on your vacation to take the GRE and see family and ended up getting a fever and diarrhea - "What to do?" 

That's what happened to me.  This week is actually my vacation week so I thought it would be a good time to come down south, see family, and squeeze in the GRE.  As it turns out, the night before I was to leave, I developed a fever and was faced with the decision of either staying in  Mussourie or continuing with my travels down south.  It would be the first time I would be traveling alone in India and I would need to take a taxi, overnight train, rickshaw, and plane to get to family - so was it worth it?  If my sickness got worse I would literally be stranded.  But I had already paid for all these things - including the GRE - so maybe it was worth the risk.  I decided to go for it.  Already half way through the taxi ride I was completely regretting it, contemplating whether I should ask the driver to take me back.  I arrived in Dehradun 20 minutes before my train was supposed to depart and there was no train.  The train arrived an hour and a half late - at 1am.  That gave me plenty of time to sit half asleep on a bench.  Regardless, made it into Delhi by 7am and by now, things had become slightly worse.  I had planned a couple of things to to in Delhi before going to airport (since my flight was only at noon), but now, having a hard time just sitting down, I wasn't sure what to do.  I decided just to go straight to the airport.  As it turns out, the Delhi airport has a section of nice, long, reclining chairs.  I just laid there and slept for about 3 hours before my flight.  That was great.  I arrived in Hyderabad and since then my family has been taking care of me.  I was forced to miss my GRE and because of the evil policies of the GRE testing center was forced to forfeit half of my registration fee.  I'm getting better but still...India isn't a fun place to have diarrhea - not to say it's fun to have diarrhea anywhere. 

Anyway...I should be fine by the wedding and will get to see my dad in the process.  I'll have to reschedule the GRE and make another trip to Delhi during some weekend.  But - "what to do?"