First of all, sorry if the font change is disturbing.  I wanted to try something new.  

This is a post dedicated to "finding my voice".  You see, whenever I think about updating my blog, immediately an anxiety begins to take over me.  Obviously there is some amount of pressure.  Last I checked, I have 18 followers.  Dear Lord.  That's a lot of pressure.  You guys expect something out of me.  You trust me to deliver, or else you wouldn't have made this public declaration of loyalty, this pronounced commitment.  I want to reward that.  I want to give the people what they want.  The trouble is my audience is quite diverse, isn't it?  There is this really complex gradient of people all here, reading for completely different reasons, more or less expecting different things.  I mean how do I cater to my mom, Mr. Colon, Zubair, and Chris Lewis at the same time? (sorry if I didn't give you a shout-out.  I'll try and get you in later).  The afternoon PBS answers is - you can't and you shouldn't have to.  After all you people are here to hear me right?  And that shouldn't have to change on a person to person basis.  This should be a defiant stand of individuality.  Yea it should, but it doesn't feel that way.  It's really a combination of not really knowing what you all expect and not quite knowing what I want to write.  All the other interns post breathtaking pictures and give succinct recaps of adventures they have had, usually limiting it to the light and cultural remarks.  I can't get too excited about constantly retelling events.  Plus, I didn't even bring a camera.  

The truth is, as romantic as it may seem to run away to the Himalayan mountains of India and work for an NGO that strives to serve the poor of India as best it can - it isn't.  It's just life over here.  Sure there are nice cultural quirks like the post man stomping around, demanding a 50 rupee tip or the two stray cats we've inevitably adopted (maybe those are the stories you want to hear about?), but in the end, it's the same.  People here laugh the same way, yell the same way, cry the same way.  People here are just as selfish, just as shameful, just as interesting.  It's just a little different.  There are lots of things that get in the way, make you think that maybe it's not the same, but in fact it is strikingly similar to everything you've grown up with.  Granted, my view is a little biased since I do work with many westerners, but my exposure to the "true" India and "true" Indians is extensive enough for me not to be mystified by it.  

So then if the foundation is the same, what is there to talk about? Plenty.  That's the fascinating thing about life.  No matter how terrible or blissful a day can be, there is something to take away from it.  That is what I want to share with all of you.  I want to share with you my lessons on life.  Sometimes it will involve a rousing Indian adventure, but sometimes it may just involve doing laundry and going grocery shopping.  If that's what you want to hear - musings from a person just trying to understand life (albeit across the ocean) - then you're in the right place.  If you think that sounds boring and a little confusing, then you're probably thinking what I'm thinking right now.  No no.  It'll be fun.  Maybe we can both learn something through this.  

....I always feel like I've written more than I actually have.


Oh ALSO - I'll be in Chicago from (approx.) Dec 18th to Jan 12th.  My visa demands I leave the country, so why not come home to some of the best people in the world for a while?